i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
