some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
