i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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