Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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