forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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