i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
