Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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