We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
