you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
