youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
