You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
