I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well you can't waste a boner
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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