thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
