Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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