Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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