They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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