One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
