Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
