I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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