I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
