hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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