You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They took my balls.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
