it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
