We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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