Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
