he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
