i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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