A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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