He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
