I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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