It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
