Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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