Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
as a side note pls kill me
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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