We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I want her autograph on my taint
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
