i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
do herpes really smell.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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