It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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