yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize