he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
