THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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