You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
