her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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