i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Rumble strips road head = magical
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
