I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
