Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
