oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wish there were birth control emojis
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
