I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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