ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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