You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
