Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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