Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
