have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
