if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Randomize
