I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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