Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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